Suffering: A Human Condition Regardless of Your Tax Bracket

*Note: There isn’t much research on counselling for wealthy individuals and how their experiences may differ from others. This post is written from my own clinical experience and insights from other therapists who work with high-net-worth clients, alongside research on income and mental health more broadly.

“Please I've been on my knees
Change the prophecy
Don't want money
Just someone who wants my company
Let it once be me
Who do I have to speak to
About if they can redo the prophecy?” - Taylor Swift

The Wealth Myth

Sometimes there’s a misconception that money can act as a shield against suffering or trauma. This simply isn’t true. If it were, we wouldn’t have songs like The Prophecy by Taylor Swift or Tears in Heaven by Eric Clapton.

I’ve worked with clients who carry deep guilt for struggling with mental health when they feel they should be happy because of their financial situation [1]. Society often reinforces this by sending the message that people with privilege or security shouldn’t have problems, or if they do, they’re certainly not as bad as those with lower incomes. But when that’s the narrative, where does that leave someone who is hurting?

Research does suggest that higher income can offer some protection against certain mental health struggles [2]. But wealth doesn’t guarantee immunity from depression, grief, trauma, or relationship difficulties. Suffering isn’t something money can erase. It’s part of being human.

The Comparision Trap

Something I hear in the therapy room is: Other people have it worse, or I just need to be grateful. While gratitude can be a beautiful practice, using it to dismiss or minimize your pain only keeps you further from healing. I also remind clients that it doesn’t matter if you’re drowning in 3 feet of water or 15 feet - you’re still drowning.

When we push our pain away, we often end up trying to avoid or numb it. The tricky thing is that numbing doesn’t just dull the hard emotions like grief or anger - it also dulls joy, love, and connection. Allowing ourselves to feel our emotions and explore all of our parts, even when it’s uncomfortable, is what makes space for healing [3]

We All Suffer and Encounter Hardships - You Included

Suffering is part of what connects us as humans. No amount of privilege or wealth can shield someone from loss, conflict, or heartache. When you lose someone you love, grief will come. When you argue with your partner, old wounds may get stirred up. Suffering may look different across circumstances, but the experience of pain is something we all share.

Being financially privileged may also introduce specific anxieties that others may not face. Concerns around privacy, trust, and authenticity can colour a wealthy individual’s relationships, including therapeutic ones [4]. Even in therapy, there may be fears of being judged, minimized, or taken advantage of. Some clients wonder if it’s even safe enough to share certain parts of their story. These fears are valid, and they highlight how important it is to find a therapist who can understand these nuances and hold space without comparison. Further, it’s crucial that you feel good about your therapist, because the therapeutic relationship is one of the biggest predictors of success in therapy [5].

Reaching Out for Support

You deserve the chance to safely explore your inner world—your memories, your protective parts, and your pain. Support is not something you have to earn, and it’s not reserved for those who “have it the worst.” Everyone is worthy of care, healing, and growth.

Wealth, status, or privilege cannot shield a person from suffering. But what they can do is sometimes make it easier to access support. If you have the resources, I encourage you to take that step toward finding help. Your pain is real, and your healing matters.

Ready to Take the First Step?

If you live in British Columbia and are looking for a counsellor, I invite you to book in for a free 20-minute consultation by clicking here. And if I’m not the right fit? I’m always more than happy to make a referral to my trusted network of clinicians.

References

[1] Balchand, K. (n.d.) The hidden mental health struggles of the wealthy – as seen on Canadian Family Offices. The Residence at Homewood. https://theresidenceathomewood.com/the-hidden-mental-health-struggles-of-the-wealthy-as-seen-on-canadian-family-offices/

[2] Baranova, A., Cao, H., & Zhang, F. (2024). Exploring the influences of education, intelligence and income on mental disorders. General psychiatry, 37(1), e101080. https://doi.org/10.1136/gpsych-2023-101080

[3] Schwartz, R. C., & Sweezy, M. (2020). Internal family systems therapy (2nd ed.). The Guilford Press.

[4] I’m a therapist to the super-rich: they are as miserable as Succession makes out. (2021). The Guardian. https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2021/nov/22/therapist-super-rich-succession-billionaires

[5] Ardito, R. B., & Rabellino, D. (2011). Therapeutic alliance and outcome of psychotherapy: historical excursus, measurements, and prospects for research. Frontiers in Psychology, 2, 270. https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychology/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2011.00270/full

*I do my best to ensure my posts are accurate and to cite reputable sources, however if you notice something that needs a correction please reach out to me at monica@beginagaintoday.ca.